An old story refreshed

:) A few things have happened yesterday with the book... new thoughts, ideas, infos and comments... and to be honest, they all really inspired me.

I don't think it's personal in any matter, but Peggy, my step-ma helped me yesterday more with my book than my Papi and Mami ever had. And not because they never had an interest, but just because they can't. I do believe my Mami will eventually... but Peggy simly had her hands on the book first - so it's not really fair to say this... - My Papi and books just don't work. For his sake, I can only wish for a single movie one day...^^

Anyway... Peggy read Kalif's book and it was the first time, that somebody told me that the story caused tears. That was the biggest compliment I could get - ever! And we talked about the book, writing and suggestions from her end for some time...

Thinking back to a time where both my Papi and Peggy did not seem to understand and actually worry.. now Peggy knows what is going on in my head and it's actually freaky!

Listening to her suggestions and words... I finally felt the courage and strenght to do what I had wanted to do for weeks. Go and change the book - again. Then to resubmit it and then, in a better format and with less mistakes to republish it and finally send it around to publishing houses and even awards... and whatever else I can come up with.

Point is, the book is a the moment a pure amature-piece of art, but I will always love it, because it is just that - the beginning of a story! :)

Sorry, too stubborn to give in

You know, things happen for a reason and every human on this planet knows how it feels like to fail at something. Everybody knows how it feels when people come up to you and say: 'That is not possible', or 'That's too hard'... 'you won't make it.' Who has not heard these words?

I'm sick and tired of them! Funny thing is though, that I'm not really sure who it is that gives me the feeling that I'm being held back, pushed down to the ground... not able to get where I want to go. Not for recognition or even as much as fame, but just because I want to be there. It's like a normal job. Things like being a teacher, grocery-clerk... I don't really care what job-title you want to put there, but... nobody ever tells those people they can't do it. Why?

All this is not important anymore, because I know where I want to be and if it means to work harder, get a harder shell and be a little more risky... I'll do it! I have nothing to lose. I have a great family, fiance and cat!!! :D... who is way to fluffy for this world! - XD - ... so, considering all the changes in the publishing world, I guess I have to get my sword sharpened again and make sure I get some thicker armor.

Because now the real fight starts. I will continue to self-promote my self-pub book, but I will also work on getting in into the more proffesional aspect of the industry. Yes... it will take some time, but I just have this belief that this story is great... different from so many others out there and I want to spoil the people around me with it so bad! That is what I want to do.. tell a story, get people involved and then see how much they trust me in my job or not.

I know I'm not the only person out there who has such aspirations, but talking to many of them, I surely will not give up as fast as so many have already done... too many!

Bookstores doors closed!

I think these words would have sounded much more upset and emotional if I had written them a couple days ago... so I'm glad that I didn't. Otherwise I would feel like an idiot right now and I have enough talent to achieve that without the need of a blog.. :D

Anyway.. I was very emotional because of certain news that reached me from the publishing industry. "Ingram will not stock any POD/self-published books anymore."

Words with no meaning to those who don't know... well, for me, that pretty much meant that my book was offically not available in bookstores anymore. While just last month, anybody could walk into borders and barnes&noble to order the book right from their cataloge... you can't anymore... and the same for everybody else who has a self-published book..

I remember feeling insulted... discriminated!!! and just kicked and stepped all over... what in the world was that all for?
well, I'm over the anger by now and deal with things... still, I have lost a major market... not everybody likes buying stuff online and most of my chosen audience - teens - have no creditcards.. or are simply not of age... And what parent wants to buy a book for their kid from the internet? not many, sure of that...

Introducing: Artist of the World

No complaints or cryings.. just something I could watch over the last weeks... especially being an artist myself.

We all want to be feed, but we don't feed anybody... I've been talking to fellow artists a lot over the last two months... almost every day and I came across the situation, that they all wanted to talk about their own story, but barely ever about my own. With only one person, I've achieved that we deal on the same level. We mix our stories up, talk about our ideas and characters... but the other way... it's more a 'me' talking about 'them'

That doesn't bother me - alone because I like talking about other worlds - love books/stories and reading! ---- but... there is just no want to focus on somebody else... why?

Especially on artists - it's almost as if that is the frame: 'yes, I talk with you about your story and hope you're going to buy my book, but I surely will not buy yours' then I can drop you...

almost like a new religion and it's clearly turning the average public away - I mean, ask a normal person if they wanted to sit down with an failing writer/artist and they will tell you - NO! - even when they are full of themselves.. they will say - NO!
I would like to know why they are not read... I'm reading many of these 'lost' writers at the moment and most of them are incredible... I just don't understand

We want to be feed and don't feed others... yet, if we would do... we would all be better off.

Selling at ConnetiCon and Harry Potter 6

well, I'm actually a day with this... shows how I truely felt about it... :D Honestly, I am still wondering how I got through the night of the 15 through the 16 of this month.

Now, I don't consider myself a HP fanatic - but I do have all the books (US), the first four in german and from the orginal publisher from the UK - got the movies... but no, I do not need to own everything connected with Harry Potter. - oh yea, I have book 3 and 5 on tape... and I have a cpuple bios of JK... my own artwork of Harry (www.faraith.deviantart.com) and yes... I guess I am worse than I thought - lol

Anyway... I stood nevertheless in line before and after midnight to get the book, knowing that I would not get any sleep - without reading the book! - before 3 in the morning. Just to get less than four hourse later gpoing to get to ConneticCon... to sell my own book.

What is ConnectiCon? A rather new convention held now every year in Hartford, CT which focuses on anime/fantasy/sci-fi = art. I had a blast, although they did not have a table reserved for me. ^^; I was in the database... but no table. For some times, the managers of the convention ran around to find a place for me...and so did I being send around to find them in the first place - :D - and found out that there was no room... what to do?

I got very lucky! I got a table right at the entrance were all the other people of future conventions made their material public. Sure - at first I felt rather rejected ^^; because I was not in one of the three rooms were all the other arists were... but the situation turned around on me.

People came and bought the book as I had never seen before - I actually ran out of change! ^^;
It went so much better than I had expected. And I guess... I was very lucky to have been overlooked... and got a spot in the welcoming area... there was not another artist around me to get the attention of the viewer off my stuff.

That may sound vane - but from a business POV, it was the best thing that could have happened to me... and I am very thankfull. Thanks so much to everyone who took interest and bought the book! Thank you so much! You made my day!!!

Between two worlds

I've seen a show a couple days ago and while I was perplexed at the topics, I believe I could have cared less. But it doesn't leave me.
It was about the foreign relationships between the US and Europe. Yes, everybody knows that Europe is not thinking to kind of the US at the moment, especially France, Italy, England and Germany. Probably others as well... and there copmes the problem in.
I am from Germany and over the last years, espeically remembering the last time I have been there... I remember being treated differently. Not hated, yet my old friends were hot to disagree with me on almost everything I said. They could not believe that I would choose to live in the US.
All this was barely a year after 9/11 and things are seemingly not getting better.
Granted, in the beginning, three years ago, I thought that my friends and sometimes family were just that hard because they did not want me to leave and were still holding a grudge because of the way I left in the first place...
Now, I saw and heard words from people in Europe and I believe I understand a few more things. I heard words that things might get better when Bush is gone and that Europe misses the America it used to be.
:) - What is that supossed to mean? America was trusting and open to the world, then it got stabbed and now we're somewhat paranoid. Over-protective. Yes, maybe thats exageration on our part, but could we be blamed for that?
Can I be blamed for that? Especiallyt being one who calls both sides home - what wopuld happen if we would toatlly split apart? I would lose either my life, or my heritage... the place I was bron and raised in. I can't picture either, but if it shall happen this way... well, I guess I have to decide then, but I will not before.
Can I be blamed for that?